15 February 2014

I Used to Hate My Hair

For most of my teenage years, I sported the infamous side fringe. It was a security thing. I didn't like how unsymmetrical my face was. When I was thirteen, I begged for GHDs, and when I got them my best friend and I would spend each morning straightening the back of our hair, making sure there were no kinks, making sure the ends were curved in properly and not sticking straight down or out. Friday nights before youth group and my bedroom was a sauna, whatever the weather. If it was a special occasion, I would curl my hair, and I thought I looked amazing. Anything to transform myself from the natural flow of how my hair actually fell after washing and drying it. I was sure my hair was frizzy, kinky, and I had to mask that to make sure no one saw how ugly I was.
 

I don't know what changed, but when I got a bit older, my hair stopped being like that. Or maybe I stopped being like that. I grew out my fringe because it was too much effort and I didn't really like how it looked. I stopped reaching for my GHDs every day. It's funny to think that how my hair is now is exactly how I wished it could have been when I was thirteen. It's straight, it's smooth, soft and shiny. The ironic thing is, though, is that my hair is not what is 'desirable' in the beauty and fashion industry anymore. Now it's all about the naturally wavy, curly, effortless mess. That's what's 'sexy'. That's what's 'cool.'

But my hair isn't like that. It's dead straight. It's thick but it's flat, and it's pretty boring, plain, and like a lot of other people's hair. It's nothing special, it's just hair. But it's mine, and no one else has my hair. So what's the point in trying to make it something it's not? I stopped dying it a couple of years ago because it was too expensive to maintain, but it's a choice I am glad I made because I am in love with its natural colour.

I used to hate my hair, and sometimes I still do. It seems like a superficial thing to blog about, but hair is personal and I don't think I'm the only girl in the world to feel protected by it. Hair is beautiful, but it doesn't define you, your beauty, or your worth.
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13 comments

  1. I've been through exactly the same thing! I cut all my hair off, and while it was growing back I wanted it perfectly straight. Now I literally don't do anything to it and it's naturally wavy/curly in an acceptably messy way and I love it xo

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    1. Very jealous that your hair is naturally like that! But I am glad I can just go to bed with wet hair if I'm feeling lazy and the next day it's fine just the way it is! <3

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  2. I love your hair, it's gorgeous! I know exactly how you feel though, I have a lot of problems with mine and it seems like the end of the world BUT it isn't :) xxxx


    www.jesscaedmunds.com

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    1. Thank you Jessica :) your hair is beautiful and so are you xxx

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  3. It's funny how hair is such a big thing, especially when you're a teenager. I've probably spent too many hours on fixing my hair, haha. It's also funny how it seems to be a part of your identity when you grow up, even if it's such a superficial thing!

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    1. It's something I think about all the time, but never really thought hard about until I wrote this post, if you know what I mean? It's something I thought was worth addressing as I know so many other women who feel self conscious or judged by how their hair is and it's really silly because it's just hair! It's strange how we feel so strongly about it.
      N xo

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  4. Your hair is gorgeous, Naomi! I wish I had such thick hair like yours. Mine is very thin and not always very easy to deal with, but it's mine, so I'll stop complaining about it :)

    Sofie x
    Little green Sofie

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    1. Ohhh thank you Sofie. And yes, learn to love it because it is yours and no one else's :)
      N xo

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  5. Your hair is absolutely beautiful! I'm only 16 now so mine will go nice and thick and smooth in a few years right? I completely agree that it doesn't matter that hair is a pretty superficial thing to blog about, but its very personal still and I think we all like reading about it. I've struggled with my hair for a while because I have such a weird hairline (probably the thing I'm most insecure about), but I think I can manage it a bit better now with a fringe. I was the opposite to you at 13 though - I wanted big messy curly hair and I didn't take care of it at all - now I'm paying the price with damaged hair! Please do more posts like this :D
    lily x
    www.jolihouse.com

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    1. Thank you Lily! Haha maybe ;)
      I have never even noticed your hairline when looking at your photos on your blog. You are a true beauty and your hair is lovely.
      I'm so glad you liked this post! I am trying to post more 'personal' posts that will connect with other people in some way. So I am glad this one has, as I don't want it to seem self-indulgent or anything like that :)
      N xo

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  6. you have gorgeous hair, but yes, totally sympathise with the whole hiding behind your hair phenomenon. it's a funny thing, isn't it? i used to be terrified of cutting mine too. x

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    1. It's so odd! I can't get my head around it (excuse the pun) but I take comfort in the fact that most, if not all, girls feel the same way :)
      N xo

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  7. Your hair is gorgeous! what a beautiful natural colour :) I totally know what you mean about wanting what you don't have! I've always yearned for ringlets.

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