I Survived the Whole 30

Could you give up sugar, dairy, grains, legumes and alcohol for 30 days? It took two years for me to come round to the idea. It sounds easy. It's only a month.

Whole 30 day 20. Breakfast w @ellyglenn and @rhib1991 at @no32theoldtown 💞 poached eggs, smoked salmon & spinach for me, eggs benedict, ham & cheese croissant and blueberry ricotta pancakes for my pals. #whole30 #whole30approved #whole30compliant #whole30challenge #whole30food #whole30breakfast #whole30journey #whole30november #whole30day20 #whole30newbie #whole30round1 #whole30meals #paleo #paleodiet #paleobreakfast #health #diet #crohns #fdbloggers

A photo posted by Naomi (@wnwrote) on Nov 20, 2016 at 3:56am PST

I was sick of doctors appointments, of being told the same thing, of being told I was just suffering from a very normal symptom of IBS. I don't have IBS.

My skin was breaking out. Last year I finished a 5-month course of Roaccutane. I'm not sure I'd recommend it. Smooth, flawless skin was mine for all of 9 months, and then the spots were back, along with Crohns complications. They had warned me.

Sugar was the problem. And dairy, and gluten. That awful thing, gluten. Maybe I will get better if I cut it all out. Maybe my skin will renew itself completely. Maybe my life will change.

I read the book, I read their website, I read the transformation stories. I pored over Instagram before and after photos. True happiness.

The Whole30 had been done by people like me – their symptoms had disappeared, inflammation gone – Crohn's cured. I could see a miracle just 30 days within my reach.

"Cut out all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days."

I was prepared. I planned and prepped and shopped and cooked and documented every detail. From the day I began it consumed me.

Day one was easy. I could do this. What was all the fuss about? Then day two hit me like the hardest hangover, the fuggiest jet lag. Anxiety in my stomach, my head heavy and thick with a tension I couldn't shake. I was assured all of this was normal. I dragged myself into work.

After a week I was feeling okay again, but I didn't feel good. Here is a list of the things I suffered from as the month went on – all things I had never had a problem with previously:

• Tendonitis

• Sinusitis

• Jaw muscle stress

• Irritability

• Social isolation

Along with feeling exhausted – which I was promised would disappear with the elimination of all the foods I had given up – I was miserable.

But I wanted to complete the 30 days. I had seen firsthand how it had helped my sister and my dad. Why wasn't it working for me?

"We cannot possibly put enough emphasis on this simple fact—the next 30 days will change your life. It will change the way you think about food, it will change your tastes, it will change your habits and your cravings. This will change your life."

Day 30 arrived, finally, like Christmas eve. I woke up at 6am, so excited to start my final day. I had completed 30 days without slipping up, but what had I achieved? All I could think about was the Nutella I was going to eat in the morning.

Weight loss was never a goal of mine, but I lost half a stone. Of course this made me happy, but not as much as being able to eat and drink whatever I want does. Two weeks post-Whole 30 and I eat chocolate, cheese, bread, milk – the lot. I eat it all and I know that none of it has a negative effect on my body. The key is moderation.

If I learnt anything from the Whole 30 it's that my relationship with food is a selfish one. First and foremost we eat what we want. What we need comes second. It's ingrained in our culture. Our generation has decided we will do whatever we want. Who dares to tell us anything? But the Whole 30 got me thinking. While I was clutching my hot water bottle, crippled with stomach cramps, catching the bus to and from work because it hurt too much to walk, my mind went back to what I've always believed: my body is a temple, and I will treat it like one.

What are your thoughts on the Whole 30 diet? If you're considering giving it a go I recommend getting involved in the community on Instagram. The support I received was incredible and it was so much fun documenting all my favourite Whole 30 meals and snacks. Click here if you want to find out more.

That Published Feeling

Writing presents itself with some amazing opportunities, the most obvious being that it gives you the chance to get what is on your heart out into the world. Even if no one reads what you have written, it is there – in print, and someday, someone might just read it. There is always the chance that your reader will take something from your work – whether it be in the form of entertainment, education, enlightenment or empathy – writing and reading offer endless interpretations, and that is something I will never cease to find incredibly liberating as a lover of both things myself.

While studying for my degree in creative writing, I had some amazing writing experiences and opportunities. One of these was getting published in the University's anthology of creative writing, Fire. In February the launch of the book of new writing finally came around and when I got my copy I was so excited. My story, Crohnicle, was in print forever, for anyone willing to read it.

For years I had wanted to write about having Crohn's disease, and in an autobiography module, I finally got the chance to have a go at it. With the help of my fantastic tutor, Tyler Keevil (check out some of his work here) some friends and family I wrote what had been on my heart, properly, for the first time in six years.

I think it's important that I make it clear that without my degree, my writing would never have developed enough to achieve this, and I have the amazing lecturers on the course to thank for that. You can read more about them here :)

Any writers reading this will know the feeling of seeing your name, and work, in print. It's the biggest sense of achievement imaginable. You really feel like you've made it, even if it's just for a few days, when the buzz begins to fade. But it never really goes away, when you look back and remember what you have done, it comes back.

I was working so I couldn't go to the launch but I was sent a copy of the book and have passed it around members of the family to read. Fire is full of interesting and unique stories and poems – and my story, a true story, one that was just waiting to be told.

Writing an autobiographical short story is terrifying. But in some respects, all fictions derives from experiences and is reflected in the writer. Anyone could be reading this. But for me, that's what writing is about. I like to think I write for a universal audience. Crohnicle is a story that I want everyone to read, yet no one, at the same time. It's a story about when I got diagnoed with Crohn's disease, something I think about every day. It's like a diary entry – I wrote it with a reader in mind, but didn't think anyone would actually read it. But they did, and it's OK. It's good, actually. It was published.  

 

Sometimes, it's the pleasing your loved ones that's the most rewarding when it come to publications, and I think I did just that when Fire got passed around the family to read Crohnicle. You know when you think you're not that good at what you do, and then you see that your work has made someone cry? That's a powerfully rare feeling.

The Food Hospital

I never watched the TV programme of The Food Hospital on Channel 4, but I love to flick through the book every now and again. There's something therapeutic about that – food and reading combined. It's evokes a wonderful 'can-do' feeling inside.

I bought The Food Hospital two years ago after a particularly insufferable Christmas period. My body decided to behave in the most irrational way. I felt sick, had headaches and stomach cramps. I just felt awful. It upset me because I knew it was down to my diet, but I didn't have a clue where to start with specific go-to foods for my condition (which is Crohn's disease, in case you were wondering). 

My sister recommended this book because she had seen the TV show, and I found it in my local Waterstone's for just under £10. It's a fantastic book filled with information and recipe ideas catered to particular conditions you might not even think diet is related to.

The contents page clearly lays out what's in the book in appropriate categories. Gut Feeling covers topics such as IBS, Crohn's disease and constipation. On The Outside looks at issues like cellulite, acne and nail problems, Mind Matters covers all things brain, from stress and insomnia to anxiety and depression. Just For The Girls offers tips on how to deal with horribly heavy periods, the hellish sting of cystitis and the dreaded thrush. The Food Hospital goes right into the nitty-gritty stuff that everyone needs to know about but is too scared to ask, and was never taught about in school.

After a short but sweet introduction, there is a well being quiz which gives you a rough idea of where you are health-wise and what you should be aiming for with your diet and lifestyle. I find things like this motivating. I have always loved quizzes and surveys. When I was little they were my favourite part of a magazine. I loved answering questions to find out which celebrity I was like the most. There's something about being likened to something, and slotted into a category which is comforting and makes you feel OK. I don't know why people oppose it so much in other contexts.

Each condition has a list of foods to eat and foods to avoid, as well as a case study and a recipe of a dish or snack designed to help ease symptoms of the illness. The recipe linked with Crohn's disease is one of my all time favourite dishes – Pad Thai!

When I was suffering with depression I learnt a lot about how oily fish, dark chocolate and certain types of nuts helped – and they really do help. Having a recipe like the one pictured above is a lifeline if I am ever having a particularly bad day and need a boost. It may sound silly but if you have ever experienced it you will know just how much diet can affect the way you feel. Medication and talking have their parts to play, but diet is another important factor.

Flush out that pesky UTI with a glass of homemade cranberry juice. Tart, but effective, and it's much better for you than the stuff you get from the supermarket.

Kedgeree! Another dish I love, and one that's good for asthma – who knew?

There is such a vast range of recipes listed in the book, and they all look fantastic. There's something about the layout of everything as well – the font, the colours and the columns – it all looks so neat and nice and trustworthy.

Fortunately, if you're like me and don't know what a lot of words mean (and my job is all to do with words... yeah), there is a handy glossary of terms at the back of the book so you can refer to it whenever you come across something foreign looking, like, phytonutrient (which is, apparently, a nutrient found in a plant, like beta-carotene).

You can buy The Food Hospital here for £10 (and free P&P). I would highly recommend the book if you are looking for something specific or if you just want to improve your diet. It's not a heavy read, and you can easily leave it and come back to it just like any other recipe book. Also, it's a nice book just to have. Like I said, reading and food are two of my favourite things and the two combined make for a perfect half hour snuggled up on the sofa.

Rude Health Almond Drink

I'm not usually one to follow food specific or food eliminated diets. I suffer with Crohn's disease as most of you know and I generally have to check with my doctor before I make any drastic changes to my diet. However, after reading and hearing about the health benefits of cutting back on dairy products, I was keen to do some research and figure out a way to cut back on my intake and improve my general health.

I had heard of Rude Health before, having tried some of their cereals and snacks but they are quite expensive and cost more than what I'd pay for breakfast items in my weekly shop, but it's fine if my mum is paying ;) I only discovered their dairy free drinks range recently, though, when I was doing a Sainsbury's online shop. I had tried Blue Diamond's Almond Breeze almond milk and was not impressed at all (it tasted like chemicals, and that is exactly what was in it). Rude Health's almond drink is different though - all its ingredients are 100% natural, so I was sold instantly. Two cartons later and I'm in love. I can't say I'll give up cow's milk completely, because I love a good hot chocolate when I'm out and most coffee shops only offer soy milk as a dairy alternative (yuck) but for my breakfast I will happily stick with almond milk from now on. 

I love everything about the packaging. It lists the ingredients clearly, has a nice, simple layout and doesn't make a fuss about what it is. It also looks natural, just like its contents.

56kcal per 100ml is pretty impressive. I have about 200ml in a glass so compared with cow's milk I'm getting less calories, fat and just as much calcium per serving.

The drink is very creamy and white - just like regular milk, and this was the main thing I was impressed with when I first drank it. I expected a thin, watery consistency but it pours just like cow's milk and smells no different either. Admittedly, the taste does take some getting used to - it is very sweet (naturally - because of the almonds and rice) but once you have grown used to it, it's absolutely fine. I am sure this is psychological - because almond milk is something completely foreign to most of us, we automatically decide we don't like it straight away, but after a few drinks of it we can grow to like it - that's what happened to me anyway, and with olives too, but that's another story entirely...

I haven't been too strict about my dairy intake since starting drinking Rude Health's almond drink but when I switch back to cow's milk after a week of having this in my porridge and with a couple of cookies before bed I do notice a difference in the way I feel generally and the appearance of my skin. Regardless, I like to drink this for the taste more than anything now - it tastes so much nicer in my porridge than cow's milk, and there's a certain luxury in drinking a glass of this with a cookie - it just tastes creamy and delicious and considering it's packed with health benefits I would encourage you to give it a go too.

Have you tried Rude Health's almond drink? I would recommend it highly over any other milk alternative. You know you're drinking something natural and good, and it's on offer at the moment at Waitrose for £1.59. You can also check out Rude Health's full range of products on their website here.

Loving: Tegan and Sara

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Good old Myspace; remember the days when the number of picture comments (pc4pc???) determined how popular and, essentially, add-worthy you were? Yep, side fringes that were a seemingly timeless hairstyle and selfies (before they were named selfies) all originated from us Myspace kids. It really was a place for friends, and relationship statuses that were just as important back in 2006 as they are today...

Now that Facebook has well and truly established its ruling over all the social media sites, Myspace has kind of fizzled into an embarrassing record that's been playing a bit too long, and a big part of me wishes it would just give up already and accept defeat. However, I still maintain that it was the one and only back in the days of angsty teenage romances. I used to love designing my layout and learning HTML, posting those quizzes via the bulletin board that no one ever read, and logging in to find I had new messages, comments, picture comments AND friend requests.

But I digress. The reason why I am reflecting on my teenage years which were for a large part, admittedly, spent on such social networking sites, is because Myspace is where I discovered Tegan and Sara, my favourite musical artists.

It was through a girl's profile song that I found the band that captured and held my attention for the next six years. The sound of Nineteen was like nothing I had ever heard before, and every time I listen to it, it feels like the first time.

I was fifteen and had recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. There was something about this song. Something about Tegan and Sara; I had to listen to more, so I downloaded as much of their music as I could find and popped it onto my iPod. My mum and I were driving to Birmingham that weekend to pick up my sister for the Christmas holidays, and for the hour and a half car journey I listened to about twenty different tracks, loving every single one of them.

My taste in music has changed a fair bit over the years, but my love for Tegan and Sara has remained constant. They have always been number one for me. I can't put my finger on what it is that doesn't get tired. Perhaps it is their somewhat nonsensical but refreshingly honest lyrics and unique melodies, but as they have recently changed to suit a wider, more varied audience, their music has become a little more generic and plain which I do find disappointing. I definitely prefer their older work, but people change and develop and they will go where they will go.

Last year, when I found out that Tegan and Sara would be supporting The Killers on their UK tour, I had to get tickets. I was ecstatic when I did. I played their music every day before I went to see them, and even tracked down the set list they would be playing so I could listen to each song in order, imagining seeing them live for the first time. A few weeks later, I found out they were doing their own tour - and of course I had to get tickets for that too. My then boyfriend accompanied me on both trips and took all of the photos above while I stood and stared at the two best female artists of all time.

When something you have dreamed about for so long actually happens, you don't know how to react. Everything was brilliant. I nearly cried when they played Nineteen - the song that had started this love back in 2007. Five years on and I was listening to and watching two of the most talented female artists perform for me. It was surreal.

Even though T&S cannot be seen in this photo, I love the memory of how excited I was.

I still look back on the two nights that I saw Tegan and Sara perform live with a great happiness and excitement. Live music is always invigorating, inspiring and uplifting, but when it's from a band you have admired for so long and for such personal reasons, it touches something much deeper within you. I still listen to their songs, enjoying the things I know from the past and the new things I am learning. They are like a jigsaw puzzle that may never be complete, and that is what I love about them the most.

Loving: The Pre-Christmas 'Detox'

December and detox are two words that just don't go together. Ever. Except for this year, because it's OK - it's only for two weeks. I can still enjoy Christmas. And, the strangest thing of all is that I am loving it.

Why?

It has come to my attention recently just how disgusting I have been feeling, on the inside and out. My skin is terrible, truly. If you read my post about make up for problem skin then you will know I already suffer with acne and it's a pain in the bloomin' bum, I tell you. It does tend to get worse during the winter but this year more aggressively so, and it's been getting me down. I've been to see my doctor who kindly prescribed me antibiotics and cream to wear at night as it is mainly painful under the skin problems I am having, but I wanted to improve my diet to see if it makes a difference.

I have also been feeling really sluggish and bloated as of late. It may be because I haven't been exercising as much (it's winter and I have no one to go running with - can anyone really blame me?) but I have been eating a lot of junk too, and it's time to snap out of it before I over-indulge and ruin Christmas.

N.B. I am not trying to lose weight.

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When?

It was my sister's idea to stop eating sweets up until Christmas about a week ago, and we both agreed to start straight away, with the exception of opening our chocolate advent calendars every day. One day into it and we had both failed, miserably. A week later, I was complaining to my mum about how rubbish I felt and she suggested the 'detox' again. She encouraged me to do it as it's only for two weeks. I thought to myself, I can do it, and I genuinely think that was my problem before - not having a realistic goal to reach.

In the past I have tried to cut out junk but because I was doing it indefinitely, I found it impossible. Sometimes, to train your body to eat treats in moderation, you must eliminate it entirely from your diet for a short while and then reintroduce it. I found this difficult to do alone, but my mum is an excellent motivator and we have both succeeded for two days now, and I am so proud of us both.

The 'Detox'

I call it a detox, but really, we have only eliminated sweet, sugary foods and drinks from our diets until Christmas Eve. My mum doesn't eat very much rubbish anyway, but I love chocolate, and biscuits, and cake... I have a horribly sweet tooth, I may have a problem. Two days without any of it is a real milestone for me in itself, which is ridiculous, but it's such an achievement for me, and by the end of the two weeks, I know how happy I will be with myself for having the will power and strength to see it through.

Breakfast day 1: glass of water, green tea and porridge with raisins.

I am not cutting out fat or carbohydrates from my diet - I am not trying to lose weight. I am just eliminating the sugary treats that my body does not need, as well as drinking more water and green tea to try and clear up my skin and flush out any rubbish on the inside. 

Sticking to it

I thought it would be really difficult avoiding my favourite sweet treats but knowing I have promised my mum makes me more motivated not to give in. It's all too easy to let yourself down when it comes to exercise and healthy eating, but not when you have made a promise to someone else.

The Benefits

 

I love waking up in the morning and having a flat stomach because I haven't been eating junk. For three days now I have woken up without feeling bloated and disgusting. I love how I know that everything I am eating is good for me and I am getting all of my five a day and drinking lots of water and green tea, and I love how happy it is making me. Happiness is a feeling, a state of being that I am all too conscious about not taking for granted. It is a wonderful gift to be happy, and to feel it through self-motivation and self-control is fantastic.

Reaching a goal creates an amazing sense of achievement and self-worth, and it sounds self-indulgent, but sometimes we need that, whatever the goal is. 

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In no way am I suggesting this 'detox' is what everyone should be doing two weeks before Christmas, because not everyone will want to, or need to, and that's fine - I'm no expert, in fact, I don't know much about nutrition at all. This is more about reaching personal goals and the positive physical and mental effects of cutting out unnecessary foods, habits or activities in our lives. I think it will make me appreciate Christmas even more, and make all my favourite sweet treats taste even better. Is there a 'detox' you have thought about doing? I'm thinking of doing a social media detox, or a TV detox. It can be anything you find yourself over-indulging in, and it's a great way to re-evaluate the way you live your life.

Standing at the Precipice.

Day 23: Standing at the precipice.

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It's only when it's passed that you realise how close you were. People, diaries, songs have to tell you how you lost weight, wouldn't eat anything, couldn't walk properely. And then you remember. How it felt like it would be forever. That's just your life now. But it's only when it's passed you realised how bad it was, and how close you were. 

When death is right infront of you, it is an inviting, calm, quiet and still thing. Your friend. Peace. But when it's right infront of you, you don't think of it. Dying never crossed your mind. You were so absorbed in the sleep, pills, appointments, procedures, television programmes, that death never crossed your mind until it furthered away - until it left you for another day. It was like someone was pulling you back, picking you up and carrying you back to safety. If you had fallen, then it really wouldn't have mattered - not to you. Death was a way out, that's all.

Now, when you have a bad day, it feels worse than all the bad days joined together back then. A bad day sandwiched between two good days makes you see what death is. What standing at the precipice really is, what it was really like - because back then your judgment was clouded with numbness from hunger and pain.

It's pathetic, feeling sorry for yourself, but sometimes you need to. Get it out of your system. What does sickness look like anyway?