A speck of dust

During a season of change it's easy to forget about everyone else. There are 7.6 billion beating hearts in this world and all I can think about is my own.

Perspective is one of my favourite words because it is one that cropped up four years ago when I was first getting treatment for my anxiety and depression. Perspective is the word I go back to every time I stumble, every time there is change.

Even when the change is good, it can be hard. I started a new job a few weeks ago and I love it. It's what I've wanted to do ever since I figured out what I wanted to do (this has been the year of, like, realising stuff) but it is bloody terrifying.

I think I will always feel like this – fear will always manifest itself in my experiences, following me as I venture down different avenues. Today, however, I am finding my groove and I am staying put. I feel useful. I am contributing to something I care about, finally. I am placed exactly where I need to be. I am a cog in this magnificent mechanism that is life – something I will never be able to fathom.

I don't know why, but writing and rewriting a sentence to grammatical perfection makes my soul sing. And I know I don't always get it right. There are probably mistakes in this blog post, but I'm in my flow, I'm feeling it. It might be different for you. Whatever it is that gives you a buzz - feeling needed, feeling new, feeling like you can change something in this gigantic world. It's the same feeling I get when I finish my to-do list, when I cook my favourite dinner, bake a delicious cake, when I finished an essay in school, nailed that point I had floating around in my head, speak up when I'm scared, find a fiver in my pocket.

It is these moments that bring me to the surface of my own suffering. My head bobs up and sees the potential in everything else. It asks someone else how they are. It gives someone a compliment. It sees a sliver of your life.

Because it's not just me and my problems. There are 7.6 billion others feeling this, feeling more, feeling less. I am just, in the words of Kimya Dawson, a speck of dust inside a giant's eye. And, while my purpose is solely grounded in God, my time on earth is limited. So, steeping in my millennial self-indulgence I will not. There is work to be done and I'm getting on with it.

The Best Journals & Notebooks

Of course I have lots of notebooks. In my parents' attic there is a box crammed with my childhood and teen diaries. The number lies somewhere in the 30s, and, despite them being filled with cringey garbage about boys and how hard my life was, I sort of love how well documented my life has been. Since the internet came along (...and full time work, and an adult social life), I find it harder and harder to find the time to sit down and write, but my collection of notebooks and journals continues to grow. 

The truth is, even though it's unlikely I'll ever fill these books like I did when I was younger, the possibility is always there. It's a source of comfort, knowing I always have paper to turn to. 

My favourite notebooks range from prayer diaries, 'blog-spiration', to creative writing ideas and a journal I have kept for more than two years. 

My mum gave me this book for Christmas. I use it to write notes on sermons at church. I'm not sure where she got it from, but the pattern and colours are brilliant.

I was given this journal by a lovely family from church for my 21st Birthday. The quality of the paper is excellent and the journal itself is beautiful, even just to hold. I use it as my prayer diary and it's my favourite of the favourites. I'm sure this can be found online, but this was bought from a shop in town called Fortysix. It opened last spring and it sells all sorts of things from stationery and clothes to jewellery and interior decorations and furniture. I love it.

My 'diary' since 2012. I'm not sure how I should feel about the fact that in 2005 I could fill two or three diaries, but I haven't finished this in more than two years. Life is busy. There's less time to dwell on it, but I still manage to stuff cinema tickets from dates in the past years, reminding me of the people who made me happy and gave me memories to keep. Available to buy here. 

My mum got me this journal from Italy about two years ago. The colours are some of my favourites, and, again, the quality is impeccable. I use this book to write in when I am feeling anxious or down. I turned to this book when I felt the first pangs of depression. The pattern on the cover seems fitting to how I feel when going through a bout of depression. Strange, unrecognisable, stretched, swirly, unusual, new, unique...

Battered and stained by hot chocolate from three years spent writing in bed, this Krispy Kreme notebook was a gift from my brother-in-law which I used for all my creative writing notes throughout uni. I love krispy kreme doughnuts and this was my favourite notebook throughout uni – it is a little bit past it's best now, though.

This soft black book is from Paperchase. I got it in the sale and what I love about it is it has three sections of paper – plain, grid and lined. I knew straight away it would be used for What Naomi Wrote, and when I go out to review somewhere, I take this with me so I can make those all important notes. The bunny rabbit postcard is from Le Pain Quotidien.

And this is one of the latest additions to my collection, which has a number of fantastic quotes inside:

This book is great for when I need to rant (which is a lot of the time), and can be bought here. There are lots of 'trigger' journals out there which I love – one of which was featured on Emma's blog, Reverie Lane, yesterday, and is now on my Amazon wishlist.

Do you love journals and notebooks as much as I do? What are your recommendations? Come September I know I'll be shopping for stationery... I may have finished education but I just can't get over that back to school feeling, and new notebooks are a must. A writer can never have too many.

Review - Collected Quotations Journal

 

Back in August, my Grandpa came to visit and one day we took a trip to Crickhowell, a town just down the road from Abergavenny. A quaint little place, the high street is dotted with independent coffee shops, clothing, jewellery and accessory stores and my favourite - 'Book-ish' - an independent book shop.

I love to go into Book-ish to get ideas for Birthday and Christmas present ideas. The range of products is fantastic. There is something for everyone, including artwork, fiction, non-fiction, stationery and childrens books, plus much more. I always see something I love that I have to put on my own wishlist. 

On this occasion, I found this beautiful hardback journal 'Collected Quotations - A Journal to Record and Remember Words of Wisdom.'*

I am a bit of a hoarder of notebooks, journals - anything I can write in. I have a box of old diaries stored up in the attic and more stuffed in a drawer under my bed. I counted them once and the grand total was 33. What I had to write about so desperately, I don't know. I dare not read back through them. I have told my family, however, that when I die they have full permission to do whatever they wish with them. Read them, give them away, burn them, whatever.

Anyway, Book-ish has the tendency to draw me in at the worst of times - when I have no spare money to spend on a new book, poster or diary. However, my Grandpa saw me eyeing up this journal and insisted he buy it for me. As soon as I got home I wrote my name in it and it has been a treasure ever since.

 

Inside is a content page of each section in which you can write down your favourite quotes. I love the size, colour and style of the font. (Font is always important).

Each 'chapter' of the journal opens with a quote from a source relevant to the topic. 

And on each page is a space where you can write your favourite quotes, the date, source and any notes you may wish to add.

Every so often you'll come across a page which has been illustrated with a famous quote:

The artwork is one of the reasons I love this journal so much. I think it is unique and interesting, unlike a lot of tacky looking journals you see on the high street.

Some pages have extra space - for example in the Speeches chapter, where more space is obviously needed.  

This is my favourite section which, as you can see I have already made a start on. I am trying to only write down significant, startling or eye-opening quotes:

I like this one purely because I love Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz:

Some of the things my family come out with should definitely be noted, for comical reasons, mostly, but as my Grandpa gave this journal to me I would like to include some of the words of wisdom he has given me over the years.

I really like the 'Other Sources' section, because you never know what you might overhear on the train or read in an article.

This would make a fantastic gift for a friend or family member as Christmas is coming up. I wanted to share it with you all because it is so beautiful and something I have been looking for for a long time. I have a feeling I'll be filling this journal with my favourite quotations for many years to come.

You can visit the Book-ish website here where a selection of their stock is available to view and purchase. Or, if you're in the area, you can visit the shop at: 23 High Street, Crickhowell, Powys NP8 1BD. 

Is there anyone else who likes to hoard an unhealthy amount of journals? I find there is something very therapeutic about writing in new - and old - notebooks.

*Published by Chronicle Books, San Fransisco, 2012.