Hold On To What is Good

I have always lived a rich life. I don't mean in terms of money, but the people I know and the experiences I have had. Every day I get to spend time with great people and it is just the best.

I realised recently that, so far, my twenties have been all about building relationships that will have a positive impact on others and, of course, myself. I wrote about this more in Lessons of 2017 and its something I've been thinking about well into 2018. Perhaps it wasn't just a realisation for last year, but for life. The morning coffee catch ups before work, walks across Clifton suspension bridge, sitting cross-legged on my bed drinking cups of tea, smiling at strangers, helping those less fortunate than me – filling every moment of my life with things that either help others or make me happy is a wonderful mantra by which to live.

Towards the end of April I spent three consecutive weekends celebrating my oldest friend's hen do and wedding and my brother's 30th birthday. They were some of the best days of my life and it's all because of the thought, love and care between the people behind it all. I want to remind you (and myself, for the days when I'm not feeling so positive), with some photos of these bigger moments, that life really is good and should be celebrated at every possible opportunity.

Jess's hen do

Craig's 30th

Jess & Ethan's Wedding

Hold on to what is good - 1 Thessalonians 5:21

What are your favourite moments of the year so far? Little or big, I'd love to know! Leave me a comment below or tweet me @wnwrote. 

Lemon & Blackcurrant Stripe Cake

If there were ever a cake that embodied my mum, it would be Ottolenghi's lemon and blackcurrant stripe cake. Bright, striking, curious, bold and beautiful – inside and out. I had to make it for her.

I knew this was my mum's cake the moment I saw it – about six months ago when I left my last job and my colleagues gifted me Ottolenghi's Sweet. It's a book that evokes joy in me through the simple flicking of its pages, catches of colour and thoughts of who I'd bake for popping into my head.

I went back to Abergavenny in Wales last weekend to celebrate Mum's 62nd birthday (I know, wow). After an evening stuffing my face with chilli cheese fries and drinking prosecco with my eldest sister, Sarah, I woke up early on Saturday – something I like to do on weekends to warrant the pursuit of a nap later on in the day – and spent the morning working through this recipe. 

The result: a punchy pink cake! As I rolled, iced, poured and sprinkled, I thought about my mum, how she loves blackcurrant and lemon, and how pleased I was for creating this cake without making a single mistake (seriously, how?) I couldn't wait to serve it for her birthday lunch the next day – mainly because I wanted to see the stripes on the inside – but also to taste it, and see what everyone else thought.

It was worth the wait, basically.

This cake reminded me of rhubarb and custard sweets – fruity, sugary deliciousness. Its appearance in Sweet is apt, but with the blackcurrant puree poured over the top (and some extra left over) the balance of sweet and tart balances nicely. Serve with tea, coffee, whatever you like, but – and this is important – serve only to your very favourite people. 

A Five-Year-Old's Valentine's Day

Flowers, chocolates, Krispy Kremes and a cheesy card… it’s 100% my thing. Even when I’m single, even when I don’t feel anything for anyone in particular, I love Valentine’s Day. I’ll tell you why.

My story begins on the 14^th February 1998. It was a Saturday and I was in my parents’ bedroom when a card was delivered – a card for me! It was from my neighbour and school friend. I was besotted with him and even though he didn’t sign his name I knew it was from him. He had sellotaped a red-foiled chocolate heart to the inside of the card.

“It’s from him. It’s definitely from him,” I said.

“How do you know?” my mum said.

“Because he gave our teacher the same chocolate heart yesterday!”

I had observed that, and even been slightly jealous of our teacher. Now I was beaming.

He had signed it with a big question mark. Guess who?

Then, my sister, Emily, took me to the shop to buy a card and bag of white mice. I hid behind a nearby wall while she posted it through his letterbox, we ran home and it was never spoken of again.

All Valentine’s days since that one in 1998 have been like Christmas. I get an exciting, unexpected, magical feeling of the unknown.

What is the point in Valentine’s Day? Growing up I believed it to be a chance to tell the person you like that you like them without revealing your identity. That was the most exciting part of my first Valentine – the gamble of sending my reply to the right person. Wouldn’t you be thrilled to receive an anonymous love note through your letterbox today?

There are more upfront ways of telling someone you like them, but where’s the fun in that? Even after 36 years of marriage my left-handed dad writes his card to my mum with his right hand, and leaves it by the front door as if delivered by a secret admirer.

There are many other Valentine’s days I could recall, but this was the best, and the precedent for all the rest. I sound like a total dreamer, but it makes me glad I’ll never be someone who doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Aren’t there worse things to be cynical about?

Autumn in Cheltenham

Cheltenham is the place to experience seasons. Each one paints the town in a different shade, and every feeling evoked is different. For autumn, it is a content, chill-in-the-air, wrapped up feeling that always comes back.

For the past four years, a tradition has formed. It's been organic, unspoken and beautiful, and I'm so pleased to share it with you all. My mum and I meet up for a weekend of shopping, eating and attending events at the literature festival, and it is wonderful.

Of course, this year was different, as was last year – because now that university is over, the years roll into each other and I forget how long ago it was since I was eighteen, and time is once again a lost concept to me. I must figure out a way to control it, or at least understand it, again.

I met Cloey and we walked through the university grounds on our way to town. I was finally granted the chance to take some photos of the vibrant pink leaves pinned to the side of one of the buildings, after years of passing them by on the way to lectures. How beautiful can autumn get?

 

I miss this place, but not enough to return. Lu wrote a poignant post about revisiting old homes and she captures it exactly. I sometimes wonder if more good friends are people I have yet to meet.

Some say Francis Close Hall – the campus for humanities and arts – is like Hogwarts, but that would do it an injustice. It is its own, and in these photos you only see a snippet, so if you're ever in Cheltenham, take a walk through the grounds of my old university campus. It's a treat at any time of year.

That was on Saturday. On Sunday I met my mum for breakfast and autumn looked different again. I love that – it can be cold and sunny, and then misty and grey, yet still a sense of cosy happiness permeates the atmosphere no matter what the weather. 

The promenade was voted as one of the top 5 high streets in the UK in 2011 and it's easy to see why. Walking along the promenade at any time of day or year constitutes, in my opinion, walking along some of the most beautiful leafy streets of New York or London, an action figure beneath tall, great architecture, of which I could only dream to be a part. Go upstairs in The White Company and you'll see what I mean. 

Did you know that trees that shed leaves are deciduous? I learnt that word today on dictionary.com. That website is probably my most visited on my computer at work. I feel so fortunate to be able to learn new words every day.

The ground is littered with these done-with amber leaves, ready for winter. It's such a short time, autumn. I'm sure next week it'll be gone. But reflecting on my weekend in Cheltenham at my favourite time of the year has extended that first feeling of autumn, and the pictures are here to stay, with this post, in my archives for whenever I get a little nostalgic for this time of year.

I drove past my second year house, walked past my third, and saw the homes of my best friend and then boyfriend. For a moment it felt like I could knock on each of the doors and they would be there, at each stage of our lives. I sat in these scenes with people I hardly ever see anymore, or even speak to. 

Why does time change things into mere memories, when all the pieces, people and things that make up these scenes, when you break them down, essentially stay the same? 

What does autumn feel or look like to you? Link me to your favourite autumn posts, I love reading them!
 

You make me brave – Momentum 2014

Last year I had a wake up call. 

When everything in your life changes – the norm gets taken away from you, and a black wave of depression sucks you into its deep, dark mass – there feels as if there's no escape.

But I found one. And it wasn't through 'finding myself', or going travelling, or getting a boyfriend, or partying and having a good time with people, or doing what I wanted to do, or what I thought I should be doing.

My way back to life was through Jesus. He brought me back from the darkness and things are slowly getting clearer, lighter. When I thought I knew what made me happy, when I thought that my ideas were better than His, I was actually bolting towards this inevitable drop, where I would be faced with all the weaknesses I knew were bubbling up underneath my 'know-it-all' surface.

It was a huge shock, and one I didn't know how to deal with. I was depressed, lost, alone and absolutely no one knew what I was going through, I was sure of it. But in hindsight, it's easier to change that perspective. At the time it was a huge struggle.

I remember my best friend, Bethan, asking me if I wanted to go to Momentum last year, but I was visiting my Grandpa in Scotland. Even then I knew it would be good for me to go – to get back on the right track. It took a lot of persuading for me to realise I needed God back in my life, but one day I just decided it was the right thing and I started going to church again, to life group, rebuilding my faith. It really was a, I-woke-up-one-day-and-changed-my-mind, sort of thing. Or maybe God did,



You might remember I had some time off work in August, and it was the most relaxing break – just perfect. Having time off from your usual routine gives you a chance to just live, not worry about being on time or looking smart or meeting deadlines. All of that can get in the way of God, so it was a good time to go to Momentum, and this year I arranged to visit family in Scotland in July, so I was able to go, and I had the best time. I met up with two of my oldest friends, Holly and Chloe, and I also bumped into Hebe from T.K.O.W which was the nicest surprise ever – she is so beautiful, and her blog is just brilliant.

Sometimes I feel anxious about things that no one else would even think twice about, but all of my anxiety was put to one side for those five days spent camping with my friends and spending time with God, and even though those same struggles were there when I returned home, I felt confident that the break had done me good.

Going to Momentum isn't going to sort out all your problems, because you can meet with and talk to God at any place, any time. It doesn't have to be in a big tent with lots of expensive lighting and sound and a worship band which resembles something more of a pop band. But the teaching, sharing, witnessing and socialising all made it a worthwhile experience, and it was so good to just cut myself off from the outside world and refocus on what is really important in life.

I bought a Bible when I was at Momentum. Have I read it since I got back? Nope. But it's on my chest of drawers, next to my bed, my bunny night light perched on its cover, waiting for me anytime I find a moment in between revision, long shifts at work, posting blogs and seeing friends. God doesn't count the times you pray, read His word or do things right or wrong. He is constant, and even though I am not – for I am an imperfect human being – I am grateful that I have a way to combat all my fears and failures, no matter how much they used to dominate my life.

Momentum is a Christian festival run by a church called Soul Survivor in Watford. You can find out more about it here.

A Summer Saturday in Cheltenham

Isn't my best friend beautiful? I spent the first half of the weekend with Bethan in Cheltenham. We both studied at the town's university, and she still lives there now, working as a teaching assistant while studying for a Master's degree.

It felt strange driving into a town I had known for three years. Those were the years of my life when I changed the most – when I made the transition from childhood to adulthood. It all looked different from the driver's seat. The trees, the pavements, the houses I had lived in. I felt so much older. It's not even been a year since I left, and while I don't miss living there, it felt odd going back – like bumping into a part of myself I had left behind in a familiar, yet distant setting.

The nostalgia I felt upon arrival was soon washed away by the happiness brought by sunshine and friends. It felt like the start of summer, and while strolling down the promenade, Bethan and I decided to do a couple of outfit shots. I think this was the first time I had worn any colour other than grey, black or white all year, and I was so happy to be sporting some bright pink lipstick, too.

Bethan's dress: Forever 21. Bag: Cath Kidston. Bracelet: Pandora. Necklace: Swarovski

The hot pink lipstick. It's a Chanel number, from 2010(!) I know I shouldn't still be wearing it after four years but it's just fantastic for when the sun is out.

My jeans: ASOS. Tshirt: New Look. Cardigan: H! by Henry Holland. Bag: ASOS. Sandals: Primark. Nail varnish: Essie Go Ginza

I bought this cardigan after seeing Emma write about it over on her blog Reverie Lane (a new favourite of mine – such gorgeous photography). It's something I probably wouldn't usually go for, but I was completely won over by it after seeing Emma modelling it, and although I don't think it suits me as much as it does her, I needed something to brighten up my wardrobe and the colours are so pretty – I can see myself wearing it all through the summer. It is such fantastic quality, too – the material is heavy, handwash only and super soft. I got it in the sale for about £22 reduced from £45!

When the sun shines, everything looks prettier, but I must have forgotten how clean and beautiful Cheltenham is anyway, as I was in awe of all of my surroundings. I am glad I chose to live there for those three years. I love going back to visit. I love spending the day wandering around the streets I know so well, but my time living there came to its natural end, and now it's a place I will just go to visit. A summer Saturday spent in a town close to my heart – Cheltenham.