Post Uni Life: Am I an Adult Now?

Source

I started my big grown up job last month and I still can't quite believe it. When I get a spare moment between editing stories at my desk I find myself thinking... WOW. I would have never expected I'd be doing what I'm doing now if someone had told me a year ago. I know I've said that before, but it's just taking so long to sink in.

This time last year I was working on my dissertation and other various assignments for uni, not knowing what I was aiming for in the long run but feeling very stressed nonetheless and, just, going with it. Even though a full time graduate job wasn't what I had in mind for my life after uni, nothing else worked out. Nothing.

I am enjoying it more than I thought I would and I think I'm OK. I get this feeling when I'm walking from the car park to the office, through the hallway and when I sit down at my desk — I get this 'grown up' feeling. I ask myself, is this it? Have I made it to the adult world?

I love that I can snack at my desk. I love that I can have my lunch whenever I want. I love that I can drink as much coffee as I want. I love that I can read all day and do what I do best. I love that we can have a laugh and talk and not have to serve customers — that the computer and the stories are the only things I have to face. But I don't think I love this transition into adulthood.

I wonder how I'm supposed to feel. I wonder how everyone else feels. The problem with me, is that I wonder these things, and I don't think you're actually supposed to. Growing up just seems to happen, but even though I have everything that tells me I'm a grown up — a degree, a car, a full time job — I just don't feel there yet. I look at all the older, more experienced people working in the office and they seem to have it all figured out, in the way they talk, walk and work with such confidence and ease. 

Am I an adult now? Then there are people my age getting married, having babies, and although these two things are major goals for my life, I can't think of anything more terrifying at 21. We all develop at different ages, of that I'm sure, I would just like to know when I'll develop a bit further, or at least stop worrying about how I am now, because right now I feel a little stagnant, despite everything I am so fortunate to have achieved.

Post Uni Life: Buying My First Car

Had someone told me this time last year that in a year's time I'd have graduated with a first class honours degree, secured myself a full time job in publishing, and bought my first car, I would not have believed a single word of it. 

I don't know what I was planning last year. I think that was where I went wrong. I seemed to just go along in life without any aspirations for the future, hoping that University would last forever and that I would never have to take responsibility for anything. I'm glad I pulled my finger out and went through all the rubbish I did, because at the end of it all was a whole host of rewards waiting for me, and now I am happier than ever.

So, here's me and my car just after I'd bought it, ready to take it home. Where I'll be working is nowhere near any public transport so a car is essential. I have been on a practice run to the offices but I am still quite nervous for my first day.

It's incredible how quickly things can change - from bad to good, and sometimes good to bad, but that's the best thing; it doesn't take much for one's life to turn around. A few months ago I was thinking I'd have to work in a shop for the next year to save up to move out, but now I have the chance to gain some experience in an industry in which I am very much interested, as well as get back on the road and gain some confidence. 

I know I am extremely fortunate to be in the position that I am, and I know how difficult it is finishing uni without any idea of what to do next, but sometimes things just happen, and I have my friends, family and faith to thank for the way things have turned out for me.

It is such a big step in becoming an adult in the real world and getting your first car. I feel like now I will grow even more independent and stronger as an individual, and I hope that when I am traveling to and from work every day I remember to count my blessings and thank God for all of it.

Celebratory Lunch at The Courtroom Cafe - Crickhowell

If you follow me on Twitter you'll know that I recently got offered a real grown up job at a publishing company(!) which I happily accepted - still can't quite believe it. I  am due to start in January so I have plenty of time to kit myself out with a new wardrobe and plenty of stationery and mentally prepare myself for my first ever full time job. This all came about quite ironically after I posted about post uni life and living back with my parents. The timing of these things, eh.

When I received the news, my dad was there to congratulate me and he suggested we go out to celebrate. So, we drove over to Crickhowell to The Courtroom Cafe where we ate and drank and talked and I made plans too quickly for my brain to keep up with and scoffed down the most delicious pasty and salad.

If it hadn't been for my dad's recommendation, I probably would never have discovered The Courtroom Cafe. It is a shame that these independent shops sometimes go unnoticed, as we often go for the safer options of the chain coffee shops and cafes because we know what they offer and what to expect. I am making a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone and discover different, more independent and local places to visit and review, because they deserve the trade just as much as the larger, more successful chains.

I'm not sure if The Courtroom Cafe was once an actual courtroom, but the layout and set up of the room certainly felt like it might have been. Quirks like that are what please me, and make me want to visit again.

It felt kind of old fashioned inside, like old people had decorated it, and the menus were somewhat dated, but in an endearing way. It did not detract from my experience or any of the food. In fact, it made the place stand out from the other more pristine and modern cafes lining the main street in the village. 

I had been to The Courtroom Cafe once before this visit and enjoyed an elderflower presse and a fruit scone. But since I had missed lunch this time I went for something more filling. The curry and lentil pasty caught my eye and I ordered that with salad and a bottle of the elderflower presse that I had last time. My dad ordered a pot of tea and a piece of prune and ginger cake. The service was speedy and the food delicious. I will probably order exactly the same thing when I visit next time.

Traditional tea and original flavours: prune and ginger cake.

Refreshing and sweet elderflower presse and one of the best lunches I have had all year. Yes. All year. On my plate was a medley of beetroot, carrot, coleslaw, pasta, cucumber, tomato, couscous and potato salad, all accompanying the main component of a warm curry and lentil pasty. It was fantastic.

 

I was so pleased with my food and drink during my visit. It was the perfect celebratory lunch and I have my dad to thank for treating me. Afterwards we wandered around the shops in Crickhowell and I bought Burn After Reading from a charity shop - I have to say, you should always check out the DVD sections in charity shops, you never know what gems you might find. 

Post Uni Life - Moving Back in With Your Parents

This post has been a long time coming. I have been living back at home with my parents for four months now, and looking back to when I was living with friends in a uni house, a lot has changed, me included. Moving back in with your parents after three years of independent living has to be one of the biggest changes that comes with post uni life. Unless you're fortunate enough to have a solid plan for when your lease runs out, the bulk of us are forced to take two steps back and move back into the homes we couldn't wait to see the back end of three years previously. 

University was an incredible experience for me. I made some friends for life, fell in love, grew as a writer and as an independent adult, and at the end of it graduated with first class honours. Still, none of that gave me any idea of where I was heading after my three years of study, and after a horrible bout of depression I found myself unemployed and living back at home with my parents. Two things, when written down in black and white, still terrify me. Yet, I don't wonder what it was all for. I have a degree; it may not be of any value to anyone but me, but I had a good time while I was working for it, and now it is time to accept my situation and work with what I've got.

The infamous photo of the best people I met at uni. We called ourselves the mafia. Still have no idea why.

And this was the only photo I could find of my favourite gal Cloey, in which I appear to be strangling both her and Beth.

Uni can't last forever, no matter how much we all wish it would (unless you're one of those people who does two degrees). Eventually, we realise we should be getting ready for the 'real world' we have all been warned about for, well, our whole lives. No one prepared us for moving back in with our parents though.

Fortunately for me, living with my parents has been okay. I would like to live with friends, or at least people my age, work in a job that I enjoy and eat cereal for my tea, but I have had quite the easy ride since I moved back home four months ago. I have enjoyed having a break from cooking for one, cleaning and paying an extortionate amount in rent. Really, it has been quite nice. Of course, everyone's circumstances are different, but what I have found to help with the daily 'what-am-I-doing-why-am-I-living-a-teenage-life-in-my-twenties-oh-my-goodness' panic, are these three things:

1. Have a long term goal. If you move back home after uni with no real idea of what you're doing or where you are going, then get one. Make a plan. When I moved back home I decided straight away it would be my 'gap year.' Whereas most people do that before uni, I was doing mine after. My plan was to get a job, save up some money and go travelling in a year's time, then move out and into a place with friends. When I have a bad day, when I get another job rejection or think too much about what I was doing a year ago, I remind myself that living back at home is only for now - that I'm working towards something better. If you move back home indefinitely, you'll get stuck in a rut. So have something bigger in mind, and work towards it.
2. Get into a routine. This is especially important if you are unemployed. You'll get on everyone's nerves, including your own, if you sleep 'til one every day and don't ever make any plans. Even if all your friends are in uni still (like mine are), and you are moving back to a town which no longer feels like home (like I did - where is home when you're in your twenties, anyway?) get into a routine. Try and get up at the same time every day. Try and set aside time for work and play, whatever those two may be. For me, work was looking for work, and play was reading and writing.
3. Be considerate. This kind of goes without saying, but you know. It is difficult moving back into a family home when you've been doing your own thing for three years with other like minded people who don't care if you eat your dinner without them. Offer to make tea one night, clean up after yourself, engage in conversation that usually, you might not. The way I have been thinking of it is that I am living in someone else's house. It is my home for now, but I am trying to treat it with the respect I would if I were living in someone else's house I did not know. This is my parents house and they have kindly let me move back in for the time being.
   

It has been difficult accepting that I am now a graduate and have to be a proper grown up, but it is an adventure and one that I am enjoying, surprisingly. My parents have been supportive and, ultimately, my safety net these past few months. Being able to move back into their home has been a true blessing, without which I would be completely lost.